Is More Money Always Better?
The Hidden Costs of Chasing Endless Financial Wealth
In the 1990’s, I met each month with a group of business owners. We essentially served as each other’s board of directors. One month, a group member was debating his strategic alternatives. Should he focus on meeting the needs of his low-income clients, or should he shift his focus to a wealthier, more profitable market?
I blurted out, “More money is better!” Everyone instantly agreed. Nobody offered a different perspective. Is it true? Is more money always better? No. It’s not.
Let me be clear. I am not disparaging money. Having money can make our lives easier and less stressful in a variety of ways, particularly for the poor. What I am saying is that money is not an unalloyed good. In fact, as your financial wealth grows, so do the costs of having more and more money.
In our money-centric culture, this sounds like heresy. What are the possible downsides of having money? The more money you have, the more likely you are to get confused about the meaning and power of money. Money without wisdom, emotional intelligence, and loving relationships leaves us vulnerable to fraudsters and others looking to take advantage of us. Substantial financial wealth may complicate relationships with friends and family, particularly your children.
Money often has the insidious impact of distracting you from the things in life that really matter.
I was a very competitive person in my 20’s, 30’s, and 40’s. In college and law school I competed on grades. Once I started working, I used money to keep score. I compared my annual income to what I imagined my peers were earning. I always knew someone with more money, so I never felt like a winner. No matter how hard I worked or how well I did financially, it felt like I could never catch up.
As my net worth grew, I believed each additional dollar enhanced my security, power, and control. Another false paradigm. Our security, power, and control have far more to do with the quality of our most important relationships, our wisdom, our talents, and our character strengths such as integrity, resilience, and kindness. Money alone rarely makes us secure or powerful.
Sadly, in my relentless pursuit of more money, I sometimes lost sight of what mattered most to me. I missed out on spending more time with my children. Over time, my relationship with my first wife deteriorated. I didn’t pay enough attention to my health, exercising rarely and often eating poorly.
Money often adds complexity to our lives. The more money people have, the more time and attention they may spend on money management. As financial wealth grows, wealth managers, accountants, and tax lawyers encourage the very wealthy to focus on increasingly complex investment and tax-saving strategies that threaten to consume more and more of their precious time.
It’s crazy. These folks are spending time, something we all have in short supply, to grow their net worth when they already have more than they will ever spend or prudently give to their children.
With the benefit of time and experience, I now realize that “More money is better” was a simplistic response to that business owner’s dilemma decades ago. What I should have done is ask him some worthy questions, such as, how much additional money will you earn if you focus on a wealthier clientele? How would you use that extra income to enhance your life? Is there a way to balance the meaning and satisfaction you get from serving low-income clients with the funds you need to spend on the people you love?
I no longer believe in a binary view—there is absolutely room for both meaning and money.
Don’t let our money-centric culture distract you from what really matters in your life! Money is a useful tool; it is just not the be all and end all of a fulfilling life. More money is often better, up to a point. But once you have enough to meet your needs and some of your wants, the continued focus on growing your net worth can easily become a net negative in your life.
Until our next conversation,
David
Small Steps & Worthy Questions
What is the bigger deficit in your life, a lack of money or a lack of time?
What does money mean to you? Is money your metric for success, security, power, or control? Is that money mindset working for you?
Think about one area of your life that is lacking. Maybe it’s your self-care regimen, a strained relationship, or just having more fun. What is holding you back? Is it a money shortage or something else?
Do you find these questions useful? Was there something that helped you strike the right balance between meaning and money in your life?
If more money were always better, would Buffett, Gates, and over 30 other very wealthy people be giving away the bulk of their wealth? They were smart enough to get rich; what do they know that we don't? If more = better, would charity exist at all? Mega-wealth is unattractive, for all the reasons in this post. But I confess to being seduced by "just a little more." A little more comfort, a little more security, even a little more luxury. When is it not worth the tradeoffs? That's the hard question I'm pondering as I stumble toward retirement.
Something that helped me strike a better balance between meaning and money was a very acute illness that caused my husband to leave the workforce for 12 years. We made a prudent choice to unwind a business, move to another state for the best healthcare, and downsize to one car and an apartment near family. Instead of chasing bigger homes, better cars and grander vacations, I ended up discovering how content we can be with less.
Someone wise reminded me that our "wants" aren't always our "needs." That little phrase keeps me balanced!!