This is a really useful and validating post, David. In my 40s, I became much clearer on the difference between stress and anxiety. As my children’s generation navigates so much anxiety—peers, AI, climate change, the economy, war—I view these kinds of situations through that lens too.
Anxiety arises when we feel truly threatened, and it changes how we respond, both psychologically and biologically. One thing I appreciate about having financial savings I'm able to share is that it allows me to invite family members to sit with the stress, without tipping into anxiety. They know I’m here if needed. As you say, you won't go hungry or be homeless.
That doesn’t let them off the hook from doing the hard work. But it allows them to sit with a tolerable amount of discomfort (rather than fear) in order to make decisions for the longer time horizon you talk about. And hopefully to feel a great deal of support, even just by standing nearby as they navigate and learn.
I love how you frame this. Candidly, I hadn’t thought of the idea of giving them the capacity to sit with a tolerable amount of discomfort, rather than fear or panic that can lead them to making hasty decisions to end the pain. What a fabulous insight. Thank you.
Some reader might think, “What a great way to rationalize being stingy.” Except that anyone who knows you knows your generosity. One big takeaway from your post is the importance of self-honesty. Helping your kids for their benefit, not your own, requires careful introspection and the ability to set aside selfishness. Not easy.
Agreed. Also appreciate David’s humility, shining a light on the truth of uncertainty, the importance of wise discernment and leaving open the question of whether this was the right or wrong decision.
Thank you. The future is always uncertain, and more often than not, unfolds in a way I didn’t expect. I am trying to remember that there is never a “right” answer. Just different answers each with their own costs and benefits. All I can do is try to choose the answer with the most meaningful benefits and bearable costs.
Well said. And yes, definitely not easy.
This is a really useful and validating post, David. In my 40s, I became much clearer on the difference between stress and anxiety. As my children’s generation navigates so much anxiety—peers, AI, climate change, the economy, war—I view these kinds of situations through that lens too.
Anxiety arises when we feel truly threatened, and it changes how we respond, both psychologically and biologically. One thing I appreciate about having financial savings I'm able to share is that it allows me to invite family members to sit with the stress, without tipping into anxiety. They know I’m here if needed. As you say, you won't go hungry or be homeless.
That doesn’t let them off the hook from doing the hard work. But it allows them to sit with a tolerable amount of discomfort (rather than fear) in order to make decisions for the longer time horizon you talk about. And hopefully to feel a great deal of support, even just by standing nearby as they navigate and learn.
I love how you frame this. Candidly, I hadn’t thought of the idea of giving them the capacity to sit with a tolerable amount of discomfort, rather than fear or panic that can lead them to making hasty decisions to end the pain. What a fabulous insight. Thank you.
Some reader might think, “What a great way to rationalize being stingy.” Except that anyone who knows you knows your generosity. One big takeaway from your post is the importance of self-honesty. Helping your kids for their benefit, not your own, requires careful introspection and the ability to set aside selfishness. Not easy.
Agreed. Also appreciate David’s humility, shining a light on the truth of uncertainty, the importance of wise discernment and leaving open the question of whether this was the right or wrong decision.
Thank you. The future is always uncertain, and more often than not, unfolds in a way I didn’t expect. I am trying to remember that there is never a “right” answer. Just different answers each with their own costs and benefits. All I can do is try to choose the answer with the most meaningful benefits and bearable costs.