Mornings Matter
Finding peace and empowerment by rethinking the first, and most important, hour of your day.
Until recently, my morning routine consisted of taking out my adorable, fluffy, white dog Sophie, making a great cup of coffee, and watching the news. Almost always, I became agitated. I find much of what is going on in the world disturbing. I was left feeling sad and helpless.
What a crazy way to start the day! I was focusing my attention on things I don’t like and can’t control.
Once agitated, it’s hard for me to settle down. For the rest of the day, I found myself becoming frustrated and irritated more readily.
Clearly, I needed a new morning routine that set the stage for better outcomes. It took me a while to figure it out.
This is something I experiment with, and what works for me may not work for you.
I also have learned that my routine needs to be adjusted to reflect my frequently changing life, hopes, and concerns.
Sophie still needs to go outside and I still need my coffee. Then on most days, I spend about an hour in meditation and prayer. I love to listen to some beloved Jewish prayers, set to music. I make it a point to focus on gratitude. I remind myself I have the freedom to choose how I live my life. I think about how to use my time, talents, and wisdom to make a positive difference. I ask for peace and healing for myself, the people I love, and the world.
I usually end my session with a simple breath meditation. I hope those 10 minutes of breathing will give the prayers time to sink into my soul before the day’s activities distract me.
On other days, I try to pause, be still, and sense into myself what I need today. The answers are widely varied. I go for a walk in the neighborhood, or read something inspirational, or listen to music, or write in my journal, or sip my coffee on the porch while looking at the trees and listening to the birds. I try to follow my instincts, and avoid being rigid about it.
There is no one-size-fits-all routine despite what’s recommended on social media. I’m a practicing Jew, and your faith tradition may differ, or perhaps you find inspiration and encouragement outside of traditional prayer and practice. I expect it will take you some time to figure out what works for you. What I wanted was a morning routine that cultivates a sense of gratitude and empowerment. A routine that helps me live in the present, shift my focus to that which is within my sphere of influence or control. I want to be reminded that:
I am not responsible for fixing the world’s problems! I am responsible for small, daily acts of kindness, compassion, and generosity to make my corner of the world a little better off.
Try a variety of things, and expect that some will not be useful. Just get started.
Sit in silence for five minutes, an hour, or anything in between.
Go for a walk in nature or around the block.
Take a yoga class, go for an early morning run, or find an exercise class you’ve been wanting to try.
Begin a regular gratitude practice.
Listen to music that leaves you feeling good.
Read an inspirational book. (If you can’t find one you like, feel free to reach out to me for suggestions.)
Grab a cup of coffee with a friend. Instead of talking about the news, catch up on what is going on in each other’s life.
Since switching my own routine, I am feeling less anxious, less agitated, and less overwhelmed. I am more likely to accept the things I cannot change, and to remind myself that today’s challenges often provide the fuel that leads to tomorrow’s progress.
More importantly, I am much more likely to do what I can to make the world a bit better. To greet people with a smile, to listen to others with curiosity and compassion, and to engage in small acts of random kindness.
Until our next conversation,
David
Small Steps & Worthy Questions
How is your morning routine working for you? Have you reconsidered recently what parts are helpful and which may be harmful?
What are a few things for which you are grateful? Experiment with focusing on the gifts in your life for a few moments each day. Does it improve your experience of life?
How might you take a small step to shift your focus from things outside your control to those within your control?
Much of the news leaves me feeling terrible about the state of the world. I understand democracies depend on the civic engagement of informed citizens. How do I fulfill my civic duty and maintain my equanimity? Please let me know your thoughts on how you are coping with this question, and any others this blog provokes. I’d love to hear from you.
Applause to my friend Barrett for sharing your post on LinkedIn, and thank you for your questions. The past few years have been a pressure cooker of pain and mental anguish for me. My divorce, after 22 years of marriage and two beautiful young children in tow, was final a few weeks ago. We had been separated about a year and half--living together the entire time.
Betrayal is a monster, and to lose your world due to it can bring pure internal suffering (at least it did for me). I was lucky throughout the process to have so many great family, friends, neighbors, and colleagues to get me through. My job is to provide resources, connect local leaders with information, and to pick people up and motivate them to work better together as a team. The irony of my family life (which had been an awesome example of teamwork for so many years) falling apart while I was answering questions and offering advice to folks created a leveling or middle ground for me--I felt needed and dismissed at the same time.
In the past week, I realized I had begun a routine that had become beautiful for me. For about 6 weeks I would wake up, have my coffee, work out, all the while thinking of an attractive someone that I was getting to know. Then, I would send a good morning text with the sap and flattery of a lovesick teenager...and it made me feel good. That is until I realized that it was only the sap and flattery that the beauty was interested in, not me. But the process of dwelling on the beauty in my life, if just for a morning moment, has stuck and I have decided to continue and redirect to all the people I care about one at time.
Now, for your 4th question: It is good to stay current on world and local affairs just don't let the inner advocate send you into a rage. It can be hard, maybe change media outlets? Realize that the greatest day to day impact you can have will always be local, and its also the easiest to take part in. There are so many opportunities to plug in and so few people seem to understand or even care about being a part of something that supports the quality of life for their family, friends, neighbors, and colleagues. I'm not talking about interest groups (such as recreational clubs or local political chapters), I'm talking about volunteering for a non-profit that you believe serves a need in your community; asking a county commissioner or city council member if there is a board that you may serve on or a need that you may fill; joining a civic club like Kiwanis or Rotary whose focus is to serve others; participating (which means showing up) or stepping up and serving on your HOA or in your neighborhood leadership; and, if you have the guts and you really want to meet people and dive head first into the issues surrounding you, run for office--school board, city council, or county commission. If you chose any one of these things to pursue, the network you can create and the friends that you will make will become your equanimity as you explore American civics.
Thanks again for the post! Great questions that are worth answering for ourselves.