My Children Rejected My Definition of Success

Why living a richer life might mean earning less money.

Jun 23, 2026

My children earn less than I did at their age. That trend is likely to continue.

My daughter is a human resource specialist, and my son is a teacher. Compared to how I lived in my 30s, they occupy smaller houses, vacation closer to home, fly coach rather than first class, drive Hondas instead of Lexuses, and send their children to public rather than private school.

The American Dream is built upon progress. Each generation is supposed to do better than the one before. Are my children moving backward?

Money was a big plus in my life. As a successful entrepreneur, I built a meaningful financial cushion for my family. When the economy turned sour or the market swooned and my income dropped, I knew we could survive tough times.

Money helped me build a better life. But my money-first focus came with a cost.

My relationships suffered. My first marriage ended. It took a crisis for me to wake up to my emotional struggles and I started seeing a therapist. He helped me learn to become more present, vulnerable and emotionally healthy. Much of what I write about in Wealth & Fulfillment traces back to that work.

I wonder if my ex-wife and kids sometimes felt like my business mattered more to me than they did. I wouldn’t blame them. Even when I was home in those days, my mind was often somewhere else, thinking about work.

I often felt lonely. Success can be strangely isolating. I cared deeply about my colleagues, and many cared about me. But I was the boss, the power dynamic was uneven, and there were parts of my life I could not share.

My inner life became lopsided. My spirituality withered. I spent enormous energy building business skills and financial success, and far too little learning how to be a better husband, father, and friend.

All of this leaves me wondering: Are my children making wiser choices because they saw the cost of my financial success?

When we become adults, most of us quietly audit our parents’ lives. We ask: What do I want to emulate? What do I want to do differently?

My children are bright. They saw how money benefited our family. The security. The opportunities. The ability to get help when life became hard.

But they also saw the cost. A distracted father. A failed marriage. Not enough joy and fun.

My children have chosen to live differently.

They work hard, but work does not consume them. They spend more time with their spouses and children. Their friendships seem deeper. There is more playfulness in their lives. I admire that.

I continue to believe that money matters. I never worried about whether I could provide for my family. Money gave me options. It helped me care for my physical and emotional health. It allowed me to be generous with family, friends, and community. Those are not small matters.

But once we have enough to meet our needs and many of our wants, maybe the question transforms from how much more can I accumulate to what kind of a life am I building?

I leave it to my children to decide whether they are moving forward or backward in terms of generational progress.

But from where I sit, they may be living richer lives with less money.

And I could not be prouder.

Until our next conversation.

David

Small Steps & Worthy Questions

What do you admire about the way your parents lived? What did you decide to do differently?
If your children copied the way you lived, how would you feel?
What is your definition of a successful life? What part does money play in this equation?
What did success cost you? Was the trade-off worth it? Knowing what you know now, would you have made different life choices when you were younger?
Consider having an honest conversation with your adult children and really listen to their answers. Ask them: What do you admire about how I have lived my life? What do you wish I had done differently?

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