The Joy of Feeling Small
You’re Smaller Than You Think–and That’s The Good News
For most of my working life, I was a big fish in my little pond. My brother and I were the majority shareholders of our mid-size Atlanta wealth management firm. I set the firm’s direction, and worked with many of our largest clients. I relished leading the team, and being responsible for our clients and my colleagues.
I was good at my job. People appreciated my efforts and I received a steady diet of praise, respect, and gratitude.
In 2020, I sold the business. I went from being CEO of my own firm to being someone who reported to someone who reported to the CEO. I felt small. Nobody asked my opinion. Nobody sought my advice. Nobody stroked my ego.
I didn’t like it. I retired almost immediately after the last of the sale proceeds hit my account.
Retirement was a shock. For the first time in my adult life, the calendar was blank. I could do whatever I wanted. It was disorienting and exhilarating.
Then it became scary. Without all that praise, I questioned my personal value. Was I being lazy, wasting my time, talents, wisdom and treasure?
I felt the pull to go back to work or start a new venture. To be “big” again. Thankfully, I had promised myself to refrain from long term-commitments for at least a year. I really needed time to rest, explore, and see what my heart craved.
Early in my year of no commitments, a former colleague called for help in handling a challenging client. I started to engage, and then I stopped dead in my tracks. I was no longer responsible for the firm’s 400-plus clients or more than 30 employees. Not responsible for strategic decisions, potential threats, challenging clients.
I discovered the joy of feeling small.
Feeling small opened my eyes. My mind wandered. I opened up to new ideas that had nothing to do with my former business. I stopped seeing new acquaintances as potential clients, and started seeing them as potential friends. I no longer meditated with the hidden agenda of recharging my batteries in order to work harder; I now meditated and prayed to connect with my inner voice, my soul.
Much more satisfying.
I felt liberated as I loosened my grip on being the dynamic leader with the right answers. I didn’t have to be perfect. I could strike a balance, do my best, and be open to whatever came my way.
I started noticing the little things. Two friends laughing. A father playing with his toddler. Striking fall colors. My dog Sophie’s unabashed delight when I walked through the door.
I spent more time being with my friends–laughing, playing, talking about what matters most, which almost never involves financial discussions. Reminiscing about our history together. Sharing our hopes for the future. Expressing our love.
Now that I am not the boss, I no longer feel a compulsion to fix the problems. Instead I offer wholehearted listening with empathy and compassion. Giving friends and family the space to navigate their own path forward. Life is filled with joys and sorrows.
I am learning to be present.
Being small helps me connect. As the boss, a power dynamic separated me from my colleagues and from my clients. That limited the conversations. Hard for people on either side to express themselves honestly and fully. Now that I’m no longer “the Man”, that power dynamic is diminished. My relationships are more candid and vulnerable.
Most of all, this new mindset opened my eyes to a reality I had been ignoring for a long time. I am smaller than small, and so are you. We are one of 8 billion people on a small planet in a vast galaxy that is a tiny piece of an almost 14 billion year old universe. We are here for a brief moment, and soon forgotten.
Thank goodness!
We are way too small to fix the world’s problems.
Our job, as individuals in a vast universe, is to be grateful for the miracle of existence, to live with love, compassion, and joy, and to leave the world a little better off than we found it.
I can do that, and it’s all I can do.
How about you?
Until our next conversation,
David
Small Steps & Worthy Questions
Imagine watching your funeral. How do you want family and friends to describe how you spent the time between today and your passing?
Block out some time on your calendar. When the time arrives, pause, take a few deep breaths, and ask yourself, “What do I want to do right now?” Don’t critique yourself, just do it. How does that feel?
When you peel away the veneer of business and professional success, what else makes you a valuable person?
Find a person in their 20’s or 30’s (child, grandchild, family friend), and share your wisdom about life, love, and meaning. What role did your business success play in your story?
If you had to spend a year not working, what would you do? How might you feel at the end of the year?
If you love this, share it with your friends, foes, and even perfect strangers. Let’s change the way America thinks about money.
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I find your article rooted in emotional integrity and thought provoking. Unless one has walked this milestone without seeing professional successes as their own identity, becoming small and unseen to the world out there can be devastating.
When we believe that the best achievements of our lives are those left in the past, we are already dead to life.
I also enjoyed your questions! Herewith my answers:
Imagine watching your funeral. How do you want family and friends to describe how you spent the time between today and your passing?
I would like to be remembered as someone whose legacy was firmly rooted in faith in Christ Jesus and expressed through a sincere commitment to loving and accepting others with a mother’s heart. This acceptance extended beyond gender, race, cultural background, financial status, or present life circumstances, reflecting a life devoted to compassion, dignity, and grace.
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Block out some time on your calendar. When the time arrives, pause, take a few deep breaths, and ask yourself, “What do I want to do right now?” Don’t critique yourself—just do it. How does that feel?
This reflection has led me to value intentional rest and presence. I desire to establish yearly sabbaticals as a discipline, allowing myself to slow down, reconnect with purpose, and appreciate life more fully—learning, quite simply, to smell the roses.
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When you peel away the veneer of business and professional success, what else makes you a valuable person?
Beyond professional accomplishments, my value lies in the lessons learned through both success and failure. I have come to understand that regret over past mistakes often serves as the abyss from which we must descend in order to confront deeper truths, cultivate humility, and grow in wisdom.
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Find a person in their 20s or 30s and share your wisdom about life, love, and meaning. What role did your business success play in your story?
My experience taught me the importance of taking risks grounded in belief—not only in ideas, but in people. Business afforded me the opportunity to recognize and nurture human potential regardless of upbringing or adversity. By leading with compassion, fostering confidence, and prioritizing individual strengths over perceived deficiencies, I discovered principles that became foundational to my success as an entrepreneur and leader.
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If you had to spend a year not working, what would you do?
Although my life has included significant challenges, many of these experiences were ultimately disguised blessings. Being required to step away from work for a year due to personal and medical reasons prompted a reassessment of priorities, leading me toward a more balanced lifestyle and the rediscovery of my calling as a Christian counselor and writer.
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How might you feel at the end of the year?
At the conclusion of such a year, I would feel deeply grateful for the transition. I would experience renewed confidence and clarity in pursuing work aligned with my true professional strengths—work that supports not only personal fulfillment, but also a life of purpose and service.