Lowering the Volume on my "Value Voice"
Quieting the inner critic that keeps us from enjoying our hard-earned money.
I bought $500 tickets to a hot Broadway musical.
My inner critic tortured me. The voice in my head shouted:
“This is ridiculous. You could have purchased deeply discounted tickets to any number of great Broadway musicals at the ticket broker in Times Square. Maybe even to the $500-a-ticket show!”
“Are you too lazy to wait in line for an hour to save hundreds of dollars?!!!”
That’s what I call my “value voice.” The internal dialogue that says, “You can spend a lot of money on something you want, but only if it is a good value.”
My value voice tortures me. I am working hard to lower its volume. So much of what my value voice says is crazy!
How so? Let’s start with there is no clear standard for value. So this internal voice isn’t expressing facts but gut feelings – what I imagine my parents would have told me.
Here are some facts. I am 66 years old. I have been a good steward of money for my whole adult life. My wife and I can afford the tickets. Purchasing them will not change our financial future. We really want to see the play. My eyesight is not perfect. I like sitting up close so I can see the actors’ facial expressions. We are only in New York for a few days. I don’t want to waste my time standing in line to save a few dollars that won’t impact my life.
Still, the value voice is relentless: “It’s not worth it.” Hard for me to make that mental chatter go away – and stay away.
Why? I’m not sure…
Maybe I subconsciously frame each transaction as having a winner and a loser. Winners get a good value, or better yet, a bargain. Losers pay too much and are separated from their money. I’m a money-savvy person. This is a game I should win.
Those thoughts are not factual. There are no winners or losers in the Broadway show ticket market. The price is just the price. Today the tickets are priced at $500. If the tickets to the show don’t sell, the price will come down. If they sell quickly, the price for the remaining tickets will go up.
Maybe I fear I’ll need the money someday, that my fortunes will turn, and I won’t have enough money to save myself or my family. I imagine myself swimming in a sea of regret, wishing I had been less extravagant.
Another fallacy. I can purchase the tickets today without impacting my life. If my financial situation turns south, I will make different spending decisions. I have always spent within my means. No reason to expect that will change.
But what if overnight my net worth plummets 50%, 70%, or more? Won’t I then regret purchasing the $500 tickets or spending my money in other wasteful ways?
My money is invested in a globally diversified portfolio. It won’t all vanish overnight. My wife and I own our house free and clear. We have no debt. We have sufficient insurance to protect us against an unexpected, catastrophic liability claim.
I once had a client who held onto his millions tightly, just in case someone he loved needed it. I encouraged him to set aside enough money to deal with foreseeable risks, and to enjoy the rest by spending it or giving it away. He refused. When I asked him why, he looked me squarely in the eye and said, “You never know what the future holds.”
He is right. None of us know what the future holds. That is just life. All we can do is take prudent steps to protect ourselves from foreseeable risks, trust that we will do our best to navigate whatever challenges come our way, and live life to the fullest as best we can.
I wonder if all my rationales for holding onto the money are a smoke screen. Maybe what I really fear the most is that part of me believes the money I die with constitutes a scorecard for my life. The more I leave behind, the more successful I was. My inner adult knows this is ridiculous. My scared inner child has his doubts.
My value voice is persistent for all of these reasons. I can’t make the voice go away completely. What I can do is choose to live my life fully, trust myself to provide for those I love, and give myself permission to purchase $500 tickets to a Broadway show that I really want to see.
Is your value voice holding you back from living your best life? Is it time to tune out that voice?
Until our next conversation,
David
Small Steps & Worthy Questions
How would your spending decisions change if you trusted that you’ve prepared responsibly for the future? If you haven’t already, define the financial guardrails that protect your future (insurance, savings, no debt) so you can confidently spend within them.
Take some time to consider how you personally decide when something is “worth it”? What experiences are you denying yourself because of old money habits or fears? Ask whether this purchase will materially affect the family’s long-term security? If not, give yourself permission to proceed.
Look for opportunities where spending a bit more buys back your most precious resource: time.
Choose one experience this month that will bring joy or connection and spend freely on it.
If you love this, share it with your friends, foes, and even perfect strangers. Let’s change the way America thinks about money.
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